Feelings Jam

When I started this blog, I honestly didn’t expect to degrade into a ton of feelings jam like this.



But  I guess that kind of thing happens every now and then.

So if you would look downwards, you would find quite the influx of emotional works, most of them actually about emotions. I suppose I should explain myself a bit. And plus, summer did start a while back, and all I’ve done is cryptically post random poems.

So what has been going on with me?

Even though summer has started, the activities and things that I’ve been doing have been keeping me busy enough to not really focus on the free time that I have, making this blank slate I have in front of me into something marginally productive at least. Immediately after school let out, I was in a week long volunteer program, the AP Institute at Interlake, which was quite amazing to hang out and chat and learn. Went clamming with grandparents, drove up to Hurricane Ridge, you know, the usual touristy things with our dear grandparents.

We were getting comfortable with ourselves, and this glorious heat that has descended upon Seattle, but then disaster struck.

My grandparents have been visiting from China since around May, and were scheduled to stay until late August, spending as much of their time with us going around to the nearby areas and getting to know about America. The first, and only, time that they have been in America was when we were in Cleveland, Ohio. That was still when our family was in an early stage, putting my dad through graduate school for his MBA while my mom was getting a masters in Information Technology. Noone was working; we were living off the stipend that my dad was getting from school (aw yeah, he is just that awesome. Schools PAY him to learn :D) But that also meant being super conservative with everything. Cheapest food, a really used car, all time spent studying etc. There wasn’t much to do for them, and their primary role was to help out.

Flash forward a decade, and our family has been tremendously blessed with prosperity. Regardless of what my mom may sometimes say regarding being frugal, we are still very well off. Our grandparents, in the meantime, have been living in Shanghai. They are both retired, so they get funds from the government, as well as help from my uncle, a good doctor in a central Shanghai hospital. They live comfortably, but much more frugally than us.

With their gradually declining health, we thought that it was high time to get them over here to see America for good. It was a struggle just to convince them to come, but once upon touchdown, it has been a true joy to have them around. Even if we would get into talks of Communism v. Capitalism or argue about how much oil to use in cooking (silly health freaks … i’m looking at you mom), them being here have been the light of my last two months.

Unfortunately, my grandpa suddenly began having hematuria, and it looked very serious. Even though he was happily at an Asian party with the rest of us just several hours earlier, it immediately looked like he would need to return home. The story of why he wouldn’t be able to stay in America is long and confusing, to others as well as to myself, so I won’t go into details. But, within 12 hours, they were on a plane home to the motherland.

The last 24 hours really have been an emotional rollercoaster, and I have no clue where the exit is. Not only the last day, but the last two months have been filled with ups and downs, so I might just seem like another emotionally confused teenager for a while.

But thats okay. We’ll survive.

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